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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Moments of Pride

Three events, although separate, had the same outcome....

For me, writing is fun and a hobby. For years I was just putting my stories in an email and sending them off to family and friends. I didn't think much of my stories, just used them as ways to keep in touch. I have been told by many people that I need to write and share it with the world. I didn't really pay much attention to the praise, as the compliments came from my family and friends, and thought, well they have to be nice me! I have a very bad trait of not believing in myself, one that I do my very best NOT to pass onto my girls. I constantly tell them to "Believe in Yourself"! (So much that I painted it on Emma's wall!) And so I tell myself the same thing and do my best to listen! I am currently working on the "new" me through many different ways and I know that I must lead and guide my girls by example.

My friend Lindsay, helped me out just a month ago and gave my name to the publisher of the online magazine called , she had a look at my blog and asked me to submit. I was pretty shocked, ecstatic, scared and sick to my stomach all at the at time. Together we came up with my submission and voila! my story is out there for the world to see. A very proud moment for me, as I was recognised as Catharine, not just Emma and Elise's mom! A moment when I Believed in Myself.

Which leads me to my oldest daughter Emma. She is a very shy and sensitive soul. She takes much caution in everything that she does, making sure that she does things right the first time in order to please. When things go wrong or she gets hurt in some of those processes she tends to give up for the time being and address the matters at another time. Through the years I found this to be frustrating , and was worried about her future in this great big world. (People tend to get eaten up when they've shown so much vulnerability, especially girls.) She has inspired me on many occasions with her will and determination, and taught me to" relax", she'll figure things out on her own time.

We've been asking her if she is ready for her training wheels to come off since last summer and the answer was always no. She decided that last Sunday was the time to do it. You could see the excitement and fear in her eyes, as her dad held her up and gave her instructions. My cousin and I were cheering her on, snapping pictures, and giving her encouragement. She tried and tried, scared of falling, but still wanted to figure it out. After about an hour, she walked away from it, again, I was disappointed that she was "giving up" but knew that she would tackle it again later. And she did, this time it was me holding her up and giving her the" pep" talk. It wasn't long and she was on her way, riding and balancing and trusting herself that she could do it. She was so excited as she rode, screaming and giggling, "Look Mommy! I'm really doing it!!!! I did what you said and believed in myself!" Right there I realized that I won't have to worry about her future, she has it figured out at the ripe old age of five. I pray she continues on with her will and determination and that she will remember how she felt the day she rode her bike without training wheels, for it was a day that she proved to herself, and the world, that she can do anything.

And finally, my cousin had her own milestone, that we celebrated. She is an amazing young woman in her 20's, full of love for life and all that it brings, and you just can't help but smile when you are around her. She holds a special place in my heart, a soft spot really. Emma is her biggest fan too, her patience with my kids was in short, remarkable! We made plans for her to come here and visit for the weekend, she recently suffered a broken heart and, I wanted her to have fun and forget the stupid boy that, for a short time, made her doubt herself and her ability to be loved.

We had a fun filled jam packed weekend and she made a decision to go on a date with a new fellow, but wasn't sure she was going to go through with it. I encouraged her to go for it, and with a new hairdo, a nervous stomach and a rockin' outfit she was off. (She took life by the horns and let it ride!) The woman I know and love is back to believing in herself and knowing that love is out there, and that she will find it. Who knows who her "Mr. Right" is, but when she finds him he better sit down, hold on, and be thankful to the ones before him that let her get away. Life with her will be exciting, non-stop, and full of a love that will inspire those that we secretly envy.

We three women, though at different stages in our life held a common ground. One full of pride, and confidence and moments that we all shared together. I had my "15 minutes of fame", Emma learned to ride her bike and my cousin learned to get back on hers. Moments where we let go and believed that we could accomplish the specific goals that we had set before us. We didn't cure cancer but in our own ways we gained a little more confidence, and coming from a woman that has just learned how to gain confidence instead of fat, it was a week of momentous strides!

1 comment:

  1. Your words are so inspirational! Thanks so much and please keep writing!