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Saturday, April 30, 2011

Dementia Came For Tea

 Something I wrote with my dear friend Dodie and her Mom in mind, also for the people suffering with this disease.

My Dear Daughter,
The Doctor just left my room and told me some disturbing news, it seems I’ve let a visitor in and he doesn’t want to leave. They call him Dementia, a strange name if you ask me. (His parents must have been from that “free love” era.) I know you warned me about letting people in, but my visitors have been very scarce and I just wanted to have some company. I should have listened to you because the doctor says that once he comes to visit, he makes me his home and eventually takes over. Quite rude and shouldn’t be allowed, but they say there is nothing they can do to control him. I was told that if I write things down it can help when Dementia starts packing up my life, and it will put him to sleep for awhile. At this point I’ll try anything, so I wanted to write to you before everything gets packed away.
I think I’ve been here in my new place for about a month now, and the people here are really nice. They take very good care of me, but don’t seem to have time for sit for tea. But Dementia came and asked me for a cup and you know me, I opened my door and asked him to have a seat. You’ve been here to my new place right? He sat in my favourite chair and we talked for hours. I told him about when you were little and how beautiful you were. Your hair was so long and your brown eyes so big. I told him how you are the sparkle in my eye, how much I love you, and that you really are my pride and joy. You know that too, I’m sure. I haven’t seen you for a while so I don’t know if I’ve told you that lately. Anyway, Dementia believed my love for you, and opened up a box right in my room. I asked him what he was doing but he just continued to pack up your pictures and place them neatly in the box. When he was done, he said he was putting my pride and joy safely away for when I move. I didn’t want to be rude as I was enjoying his company; he is a really good listener. He is very easy to talk to, he never rushes me, never tells me I’m wrong and I don’t remember. He never corrects me and just lets me ramble.
Every time we talk, Dementia opens another box and puts my very precious items in it, labels it and takes it away. I don’t understand why he is taking me away box by box, and I don’t understand why he is the only one that visits anymore. He is making my room quite empty, and I can’t seem to recall the stuff he’s taken. I do know that I don’t want his company anymore, but he just keeps coming back. I ask the people that come into my room to remove him, but they just look at me with empty eyes and blank looks as though I haven’t said a word. It’s hard because these people are new to me every day so they don’t know me and maybe that’s why they can’t help. There is one girl that looks just like you, and I feel so hopeful when I see her.
I must hurry as I think I hear Dementia coming down the hall, he stops at a few of my friends rooms too so I only have a few moments left. I don’t know when I’ll see you again, so I ask you now for help. I know you’re busy and that you love me, but would it be okay if you asked Dementia to stop his visits, and kindly ask him for my boxes back? Don’t be rude of course; he seems to pack things up faster when you raise your voice. I wonder if you don’t come to see me anymore because my room is so bare and cold. I do not like it either, but he seems to think he needs my possessions more than I. I promise if you can get Dementia to stop, it will be more enjoyable to visit, easier to give me a hug, and less of a hassle to just sit and listen. I’m sorry for what I’ve done, if I could change it I would.
He’s here for the last two things I hold precious, my love for you and the rest of my life. He said I can give him one or the other...I’m sorry but I couldn’t let him pack away my love for you and made the decision he could take the other. You’ll find my love for you tucked inside your heart, hold it tight, and don’t tell Dementia where I left it.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Spring Back From Your Bad Mood

Have you ever woken up in a bad mood that lasted all day and even all week? And that week turned into a month maybe more? All the energy that was spent being mad at the world, mad at your friends, co-workers and family was completely wasted...don’t you think? It’s easy to get sucked into someone’s negativity and before you know it that negative feeling has almost consumed everything in you. But at some point in your life you have to take a good look in the mirror and decide if it really is the people in your life that need to change, or is there something in you that needs to change. “The difference between a good day and a bad day is YOUR attitude.”

I can blame my moods on so many things, Mother Nature, “that time of the month”; telemarketers, hormones or someone ate my last piece of chocolate. But the truth of the matter is, I am in control of myself, no one else is. Of course life hands out some unwanted events in our life and we all have the right to deal with them in our own time, and manner. But we don’t have the right to take others down with our sinking ship. There can be people in our lives that do make it suck sometimes, but there are certain people in our lives that want to be there, they want to hold you up when you feel like you’re falling. They want to know if you had a good day or why you had a bad one. They want to protect you from the people that are causing you pain. They also want to celebrate in the good days, good events and milestones. But over time if we are just negative all the time, soon those people will not be there when you’re finally ready to deal. And going through life alone is one very sad and scary endeavour.

After a very long and drawn out winter and many days of bad moods, I have never been more excited for spring. Spring is a new beginning, cleaning out closets, cleaning up the yard, and cleaning up my life. I’ve always been afraid of change, but every time I go with it, something good always seems to happen. The road may have been a rough one, but I feel I’ve been pretty blessed. My family and friends have cheered me on and held me up, and those that haven’t are just not a part of what makes me, me.

If only life were as simple as Facebook makes it to get rid of the negative, rotten people on your list of friends. Clicking “unfriend” for me has been so rewarding some days! “Delete friend?” You bet your a** I want to delete friend! With a click of a couple yes’ and BAM! That negative person is gone, gone, gone. Unless they are obsessed and hunt you down only to add you as a friend again! If you’re feeling like the world is against you, take some steps to make changes for yourself because no one else can do it for you. It will be hard, but as your mother has already told you, life isn’t easy. Start with your Facebook Friend List and start deleting or weeding, that part is fun and really easy. Then ask yourself what you may be missing out on, and do what you can to turn that bad mood into a lunch date with the person you miss the most.