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Monday, June 28, 2010

Do You Work?

Recently I was asked by a woman if I worked. I could end the blog here and you could probably fill in the blanks as to how I handled this question, but seeing how I "don't work", I have the time to let you know exactly how it went down.

I was grocery shopping in the middle of the week, in the middle of the day with both girls in tow. One screaming that she wanted to walk and not be in the cart, the other "helping" me shop by loading the cart with all the "healthy" food she could find. Not really a moment where I felt like chit chatting with strangers and not a good moment to be asked questions by the Wal-Mart credit card person who was trying to get me to fill out the application as she followed me down each aisle. At first I politely ignored her, but she was a persistent little bugger and decided that she would be" helpful" by asking questions as I shopped and she would fill out the application for me.

"What is your name?"


"Oh, no your legal name."


"Okay, what is your date of birth?"

"I can't remember it was so long ago."

"Hmmm....okay well, do you work? What is your occupation?"

And that is when I could no longer play got ugly.....and fast.

"Yes as a matter of fact I do, and you are interrupting me as I do it! My occupation is, Mommy as I stated in my name. Imagine that, my name and my occupation are the same damn word! I work from 6:30 am until 10:00 pm every single day including holidays. Holidays require a double shift, and if someone is sick I'm pulling an all nighter! I do dishes, laundry, clean bathrooms and toilets, make meals, vacuum, kiss the boo boos away, scare the monsters back to where they came from, and wake up the next day to do it all over again. My income is less than you make here, but what I lack in income I am rewarded in love and hugs from these two right in front of you. A little word of advice my dear would be that you rephrase your question to Do you work OUTSIDE the home. You just may get a better response, and when someone ignores you that means they aren't interested in your credit card!"

"Right.....sorry about that....."

I am not going to start a war over who is more overworked a working outside the home mom or a stay at home mom, I believe we are equal in our endeavours. I'm sure both kinds of moms are a little envious of the other, one would like to be home more and the other would like to get out more. But my days get just as busy as the next moms and they all sometimes mesh together. The credit card lady caught me on a really stressful busy day and I'm sure I could have handled her differently. But I did not, yes she was just doing her job but so was I. My job requires me to be an annoyance to my family, her job requires her to be an annoyance to the public. Either way we were both annoying to each other.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

My Army

Something we can all relate to in our lives is some form of loss or tragedy, no one wants to experience it, but at some point we all have to. That is the common denominator, how we deal with or work through that loss is entirely up to us. We cannot control our future, but we can control our actions. We chose our own path; is it one of further destruction or one that we can learn from? The harder road is the one we take where we actually have learned from. It takes more work on our parts, more heartache in some cases but in the end the most rewarding. For some it is the road less travelled.

Choosing to be the victim, for me, seems to be more work. You smile less, you laugh less, you are not your true self. You lose yourself , and ultimately lose out on life. We all deal with things in a different way, some take longer than others to move on, that in itself is neither right, nor is it wrong. What is wrong is when you become a "toxic" energy and in turn start to take others down with you. Others that were there in the beginning to help dust yourself off, and help you take a deep breath, put one foot in front of the other and move forward from the past. Those that helped comfort and support, lend an ear, give a hug and wipe the tears. Those that try to show you that you are stronger than what has happened, you, as a person, are stronger than the situation or the other person that hurt you. I believe that we all are blessed with these kind of people in our lives, whether we know it or not, there is someone there that wants to help and wants to see you help yourself.

I truly am blessed with an army of people from family to friends, and friends that are family. I feel that some I have taken for granted, though not on purpose, just could have shown a better appreciation for the role they play in my life and my family's life. I find that I have guarded my heart to new relationships as I'm sure we all have for obvious reasons. I am the one to push away or step back, and I am the one to just trust the future.

As tough as I try to portray myself, I really am not hard as nails. With an outpouring of love and support from my true friends and family, today I woke up with the sun shining through my window, trees moving freely in the wind, and the birds singing their songs welcoming a new day. I decided that yes, it is a new day, the past is the past, and there is always a tomorrow. I learned this week that there are two fantastic women willing to get to know me and wanting the best for me. As I do for them, and that ultimately I am thankful for what has happened, because from a bad situation and toxic relationship sprouted two more soldiers in my army. I look forward to good times, good conversation, much laughter and a positive outlook for things that have happened and things that are to come our way.

I know I do not say thank-you enough to my circle of family and friends for their constant love and support, so I say it now. Thanks for backing me, lifting me up and just loving me for me through the good times and the not so good times. Without all of you I would not have the great life that that I live.