Dear Kotex Marketing Department,
I must thank-you from the bottom of my heart for all of your efforts that you have put into your newest line of feminine products! My cousin had sent away for a free sample and low and behold, she paid it forward and shared a pad! She’s so thoughtful that way! Anyhoo...the bright packaging in pink and black with the swirly designs made me so excited for my next period to start, I simply just couldn’t wait!
The day finally came, sure enough right on queue! I woke up so sore I could barely walk but then realized that I had a new pad to try out, so I happily dragged my body out of bed, and practically skipped to the bathroom. It honestly felt like Christmas morning! I opened the cupboard to find that new little treasure and it took me no time at all! Why? Because of your brilliant idea to make that package stand out, that’s why! Your mothers must be so damn proud of all that brainstorming you did. No longer will my supplies for my “monthly” be hidden, I will proudly display them for all to see! When my guests ask,” Who’s got their period?” I’ll yell, “ME! That’s who!”
The best part of all, my dear friends at Kotex, was when I opened the wrapper. To my surprise you had already made your mark on that fancy new pad! Another brilliant idea! Why let the consumer use a plain old white bound up rectangle of cotton? Nope, not you! That swirly design you made was like a canvas for me to bleed on! Oh the art we made together that day, I wish I could have shown you, but well, I’m thinking that would have been totally inappropriate! Unfortunately I only had one to use and my cramps were still too much for me to run out to the store and get some. But for that hour and a half I had your product close to me will be something to remember and a memory I will share with my girls the very first time they start their period. I’m sure they will be just as excited to buy feminine products when they see the bright colours and cool designs that they now come in! I can hear myself saying to them in the aisle, “See girls, there is nothing to be upset about, having your period is fun, fun, fun!”
I wonder though, maybe you should start adding to your line of pads and research the incontinence side of things. I thought that when I hit that “change of life” I hear so much about that I will miss the fancy swirls and colors in my pants and might want to see it again in my later years. Maybe you could make them into water colors and it will be surprise every time I cough, laugh or jump, I will feel free to pee my pants and make art at the same time! Genius isn’t it?