Today was a typical day of getting up, feeding the kids and preparing Emma's essentials for school. Got her ready, brushed her hair with only a few tears, washed her face and brushed her teeth. Walked her out to the alley, hugs and kisses and a wish for a great day! As I stood in the cold in my jammies and hoodie hair everywhere and the ever present morning breath, I lovingly waved to her as she entered the school doors and wondered how long I would be able to get away with my appearance in the morning while walking her to school. I chuckled thinking that I still have a few years left until she gets embarrassed by me! I raced back into the house through the snow in my sneakers and bare feet trying hard to avoid the monster of a "puppy" that wanted to play with me at that very moment. He jumped on me and I lost my footing, fell in the snow bank as he trampled all over me. Got up, looked around casually brushed myself off hoping that no one was around to witness that! Made it into the house and proceeded to finish my coffee, check my Facebook page and email. Made a few phone calls, and tried my best to avoid my date with my Jillian Michaels torture DVD's. Upon some helpful "pushing" of my good friend Karen I finally laced up my shoes, put on a bra, and pressed play.
Every minute sucked, but every minute I did it, I told myself I was that much closer to the end! It was finally over, and not without constant cursing on my part to my idol Jillian, good thing she can't hear me while the workout is going on! I willing let her kick my ass everyday in hopes that one day I will wake up and look a little bit like her. My goal is really to be able to do a jumping jack without feeling the wave of extra flab and fat from my head to my toes, you know you have a problem when you can feel the "jiggle" upon every bounce. It's bad enough that my boobs have sagged so much that they look like oranges in the bottom of a sock without the support of a bra, but when I go for some push ups, they sneak out of the cups to say "hello"! Brings a tear to my eye when I think about how lovely they used to be!
So after the torture session was done I hit the shower and it was there that I discovered a hair, ONE hair, on my shoulder that was very blonde and wiry and about 2 inches long! What the hell is that? I did not have the strength to pull it out, it was in there that deep! I found the tweezers and ripped that sucker right out! (Take that you pesky hair!) Then I thought it would be a good idea to look for more, I found another single hair about the same length and color on my cheek! Are you kidding me? YANK! Take THAT! I got a little closer in the mirror and lifted up my chin, and it was there that I discovered 5 more!!!!!!!! YANK (swear), YANK (swear), YANK (swear), YANK (swear), YANK(swear)! At that point Elise comes in and says, "Whatcha doin' Mommy!" I told her that I was learning what it is like to embrace my late 30's and realizing that I will NOT be looking forward to my 40's as this job won't be accomplished with tweezers alone! She said, "okay!" and away she went to play with her Little People.
Beating myself up daily to maintain my weight and gain strength is a part of life for me that I have come to accept, I don't like it, but I accept it. Finding new hairs on my body that don't belong there and in the strangest places is a part of life that I don't know if I can accept! On top of shaving my legs and armpits, waxing my eyebrows and "grooming" my "hoo ha" I now have to do a full body search for long blonde wiry hairs that have a mind of their own! Sheeesh! In my next life I am going to request coming back as a man!
